NEWARK, NJ—Marveling on the manifold pure wonders on show inside such a small, self-contained ecosystem, a panel of scientists described feeling awestruck Tuesday by the biodiversity inside a single Italian sub. “There’s simply an unimaginable number of species thriving contained in the surprisingly hospitable habitat of this sandwich—among the many varietals of flora alone, we are able to see lettuce, tomato, onion, scorching peppers, and oregano,” stated Professor Charles Boutwell of Rutgers College, one among a number of scientists who expressed amazement when a DNA evaluation discovered proof within the crusty semolina roll of yeast fungi and a number of grasses from the wheat household, in addition to a capability to germinate sesame crops. “After which beneath this cover of vegetation, we discover layers and layers of pepperoni, capicola, soppressata and thin-sliced salami, which recommend this habitat can assist many, many pigs, all residing collectively in symbiotic concord. It’s breathtaking. And that’s earlier than you even begin stepping into all of the listeria, E. coli, and parasitic roundworms.” Boutwell added that, sadly, humanity was destroying the fragile stability of the Italian sub’s ecosystem with every scrumptious chunk he took.
