GLOUCESTER, MA—Struggling to articulate by streams of tears, sobbing conservationists from the Nationwide Marine Fisheries Service introduced Wednesday that endangered Atlantic halibut have been on their very own now after the 2 species had an enormous falling out. “We’re actually achieved this time—these demersal assholes are on their very own,” stated visibly distraught environmentalist Morgan Flynn, who reportedly made an enormous present of blocking the member of the flounder household on all social media and renaming their contact in his cellphone as “Useless to Me.” “There. Let’s see how lengthy these ungrateful, flat-faced narcissists final now that they’ve pushed us—the one ones who love them—away. I hope they’re completely happy. I do know all Pleuronectidae are cussed, however Atlantic halibut positively take the cake. Frankly, they need to go extinct after taking that tone with us. You give and also you give and also you give, and that is how an overfished creature with pelagic larvae repays you? Silly fucking jerks. We’re not going to allow them to deal with us the way in which the Okaloosa darter used to—we deserve respect.” At press time, the conservationists have been noticed sobbing even more durable after listening to the Atlantic halibut had already been seen hanging out with the World Wildlife Fund.
