We are proud to be the primary pasta firm to harness the transformative energy of AI, however we perceive that such innovation may cause confusion. Under are solutions to a few of the most typical questions we’ve acquired about our latest product: SpaghettAI.
What? I don’t perceive.
That is by far our most typical query. It’s difficult, however it is smart in our CEO’s TedX discuss. Fortunately you don’t have to grasp, and in reality, we would relatively you not strive.
Suffice it to say SpaghettAI includes unfathomable computing energy, a collection of knowledge facilities within the hills of Tuscany, and a gargantuan tub of tomato sauce within the metaverse.
Who is that this for?
The hundreds of thousands of AI integration followers, who longed for this know-how however had been apparently too afraid to precise any want for it in any method.
How does it work?
How doesn’t SpaghettAI work? Image the Spaghetti 1.0 expertise, however now as an alternative of the identical outdated household Italian dinner, you are able to do a lot extra!
Be taught enjoyable and correct info, just like the story of spaghetti’s invention in 1979 by Senator Stanley Tucci.
Make cooking much less disturbing by following sometimes-correct recommendation about your blood stress medicine.
Move time whereas the water boils, by watching a video of a fifty-toothed Jojo Siwa doing the macarena in Robert E. Lee cosplay.
So, wait… is it nonetheless pasta?
SpaghettAI has disrupted the pasta/not-pasta binary.
Um, what does it style like?
Man, you guys preserve asking this. Kind of like a combination between Spaghetti 1.0, Dayquil, and lithium?
We all know these taste changes could not swimsuit all customers’ palates, however they had been a worthy sacrifice for progress. For instance, the lithium content material was essential to cease the chatbot from quoting Mein Kampf.
Why on earth have you ever finished this?
For too lengthy, the pasta sector has been stagnant. 12 months after yr, merely producing steadily cheaper and tastier “pasta” for “individuals” to “eat.” Boring!
However now disruption is lastly right here, after our years of failed experiments (Lasagna Deep Fakes, Blockchain Rigatoni, Fettuccine That’s Simply One Actually Lengthy Noodle).
What about this Washington Submit report that SpaghettAI is being utilized in a Russian disinformation marketing campaign referred to as OPERATSIYA MAMMA MIA?
No remark.
I don’t know, it appears scary.
Don’t worry progress, Luddite! Simply learn the phrases of service and legal responsibility launch* rigorously.
*IMPORTANT!: If SpaghettAI contacts butter, in uncommon circumstances it’ll replicate your grandmother’s voice, empty her 401K, and Postmates itself $140,000 in marinara sauce. We plan to debug this subject within the V2.1 patch, coming 2026.
Why isn’t this unlawful?
Overregulation of synthetic intelligence will merely stifle innovation and go away america dangerously susceptible to China, which is creating an AI-powered Kung Pow Rooster, in response to this report from the Thiel-Vance Middle for Strategic Carbohydrate Innovation.
You’re loopy!
Loopy like a fox, with opposable thumbs, consuming spaghetti, in a JPG generated utilizing the power consumption of Mozambique?!
Why on earth would I pay for this?
As a result of that is the longer term and we’re leveling up the human exp–
As a result of–
PLEASE! Please! Please.
Oh God… Perhaps this was an enormous mistake…
Our CEO was so assured after that orgy with Sam Altman’s digital twin.
However now each field of SpaghettAI prices us $465,000 to make, and as an alternative of paying for it everybody simply retains utilizing free samples to generate pornographic memes of a SpaghettiO fellating Chef Boyardee, and our steadiness sheet is redder than a contemporary Bolognese, and we are able to’t return as a result of we liquidated our take a look at kitchen to pilot one thing referred to as Web3 Tortellini, and we’ve received an investor name tomorrow with Berkshire Hathaway and perhaps we didn’t suppose this by.
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