The Olympic Village constructed for the 2024 Paris Summer time Video games is housing 14,250 athletes from 184 totally different international locations. The Onion shares a few of the most strict and stunning guidelines Olympians should observe throughout their keep.
- Flip off the torch if not utilizing it: Frankly it’s ridiculous this even must be mentioned, however it’s been on just about 24/7 and the gasoline invoice is insane.
- No penetration earlier than the beginning pistol fires: Nobody ought to have an unfair benefit throughout intercourse.
- Take a minimal of two shifts on the Olympic Village co-op: Utilizing the co-op additionally means giving again to the co-op.
- Merchandising machines solely settle for gold and silver medals: Change won’t be given.
- Full all Olympic Village facet quests: Finishing all villager and shopkeeper facet quests is the one approach to unlock the River Seine.
- No murdering: This rule really applies outdoors the Olympic Village as properly.
- Don’t carry the Olympic torch into the bathe: Water is just not good for the flame.
- Forbidden romances should be preceded by a two-day craving interval: Whether or not athletes are representing rival superpowers or are competing in the identical occasion, a minimal craving interval is critical to maximise the fervour of their affair.
- Athletes whose roommates commit suicide will obtain automated gold medals in every of their occasions: It’s merely the best factor to do.
- Non-medalists should put on condoms: Solely Olympians who make the rostrum are permitted to have bareback intercourse to be able to restrict the variety of losers conceived.
- Use faux names throughout all sexual encounters: This makes it simpler to say goodbye as soon as the Olympics lastly finish.
- No race mixing previous 9 p.m.: That is extra of a French rule than an Olympics one.
