STOCKHOLM—Using one of many Scandinavian nation’s beneficiant social masturbator applications, the Swedish authorities gave resident Henrik Svensson six months’ paternity depart Thursday for busting an enormous load. “Upon notification that Mr. Henrik Svensson had cum thick ropes of pearly white semen, the aforementioned might be granted six months of paid paternity depart with advantages to are inclined to the splooge, as afforded to him by Swedish regulation,” stated Swedish Social Insurance coverage Company official Felix Nyström, noting that this was finished to make sure residents have the correct quantity of refractory time to regain their power and shoot off extra masses with out stressing out about whether or not they will pay their payments or correctly care for his or her dirty mattress sheets. “Throughout that point, our taxpayer-funded healthcare system will present any requisite ice his balls may have to ease the tenderness from blowing monster wads. On behalf of everybody within the Swedish authorities, congratulations in your colossal spunk.” At press time, Svensson returned from potential depart to seek out many office sources to assist him transition again to the workplace, resembling a personal prostate milking room.
