Conservative media figures lately started circulating conspiracy theories that Taylor Swift is a part of a government-funded psyop to get President Joe Biden reelected. The Onion requested followers how they felt in regards to the right-wing assaults, and that is what they stated.
Chris Billings, Chilly-Caller
“I’ve listened to each album backward, and she or he solely says ‘Emperor Joe Biden’ three or 4 instances.”
Gabby Layman, Programmer
“The concept Taylor may select the president, if something, underestimates her energy.”
Lucas Oberdin, Pentagon Agent
“We want. We don’t have the finances for Taylor Swift’s psyop reserving charge.”
Hillary Downing, Workplace Supervisor
“The concept she holds sufficient sway to affect tens of millions of People to behave irrationally is ridiculous, and I’ll kill anybody accountable for propagating such a lie.”
Douglas Forte, Military Colonel
“Why would she hassle selecting the president when the armed forces have already secretly sworn fealty to her?”
Emily Hodges, Barista
“Taylor additionally controls which NFL gamers get mind accidents on the sector.”
Selena Gomez, Singer
“It’s all a lot and so demanding proper now that I sort of really feel dangerous for creating that deepfake porn of her.”
Rachel Dawson, Chef
“I do know she left directions on how to answer this someplace within the Midnights liner notes. I simply haven’t discovered them but.”
Dan Stanfield, Professor
“If Taylor really wished to select the president, she’d simply tweet out their identify and we’d bribe, threaten, and kill till they had been in workplace.”
Hannah Reinfeldt, Monetary Advisor
“C’mon, she was actually courting a Nazi lower than a 12 months in the past.”
Chloe McPherson, Biology Instructor
“Tay is lastly courting a pleasant man who respects her. It’s clearly pretend.”
Molly Connor, Excessive Faculty Pupil
“All of her love songs are literally about her burning need for Joe Biden.”
Sadie Li, Blogger
“They’re in all probability nonetheless simply upset that she didn’t marry Harry Kinds.”
Kayleigh Pacheco, Nurse
“The NFL is a pysop to advertise the upcoming ‘Mrs. Kelce’ tour.”
Brian Shahar, Buyer Service Consultant
“The extra instances her identify is spoken aloud, the extra highly effective she turns into. They’re the authors of their very own demise.”
Hannah Darby, Pet Groomer
“This show of paranoid misogyny is certain to show me in opposition to her.”
Megan Rafferty, Janitor
“I imply, who isn’t secretly homosexual?”
