When Prime Secret! was launched in the summertime of 1984, the response wasn’t fairly what the artistic trio of Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker have been hoping for. Whereas it grossed greater than $20 million on the field workplace, or practically triple its $7 million finances, it was thought-about a bomb, particularly in comparison with their smash-hit first movie, Airplane!.
Prime Secret! stars Val Kilmer as Nick Rivers, an boastful American rock star who goes to East Germany to carry out at a competition. There, he falls in love with Hillary Flammond (Lucy Gutteridge), a member of the French resistance motion, and will get tousled of their anti-communist plot. Though set within the Nineteen Eighties, Prime Secret! tried to ship up quite a few completely different genres — from spy motion pictures, to warfare motion pictures, to rock ‘n’ roll motion pictures — versus the a lot clearer parodies of Airplane! (catastrophe movies) and their later Police Squad!/Bare Gun sequence (police procedurals), which might be partly why it didn’t take off in fairly the identical manner at first.
In equity, although, David Zucker, Jim Abrahams and Jerry Zucker — who just lately authored the brand new guide Absolutely You Can’t Be Critical: The True Story of Airplane! — have acknowledged that the lead character of Prime Secret! was removed from fleshed out and that the story was a bit shaky. Regardless, as a repository for humorous jokes, Prime Secret! was a whole success, with loads of laugh-out-loud moments which have helped flip it right into a cult traditional that’s stood the take a look at of time.
And so, with the movie celebrating its fortieth anniversary final week, I sat down with the well-known ZAZ guys to rank Prime Secret!’s 40 funniest jokes, beginning with…
‘And I’ll Miss You Most of All, Scarecrow’
Within the spirit of the ZAZ guys’ explicit model of nonsense, let’s begin on the finish of the film. After Nick Rivers (Kilmer), his love curiosity Hillary Flammond (Lucy Gutteridge) and the French resistance fighters have rescued Hillary’s father, Dr. Flammond (Michael Gough), Hillary chooses to go to America with Rivers and her father. She hugs and says goodbye to every of the three French resistance fighters, echoing Dorothy’s goodbye from The Wizard of Oz. Then, out of nowhere, a scarecrow seems. Hillary hugs him as nicely and tells him she’ll miss him most of all. “We all the time love to do Wizard of Oz jokes,” says David Zucker.
The French Resistance
“I’m keen on the French resistance guys — possibly as a result of they have been all nice guys and I simply bear in mind them fondly,” explains Jerry Zucker. Every of their names — Chevalier, Montage, Détente, Avant-Garde, Déjà Vu, Croissant, Soufflé, Escargot, Chocolate Mousse and Latrine — was a foolish reflection of how little French most Individuals know.
Nick Desires He’s Again in Excessive Faculty
“I like when Val is being tortured, and he has this dream about being again in highschool and never having studied for his take a look at. Then he wakes as much as see he’s solely being tortured and goes, ‘Oh, thank God,’” says Jerry Zucker.
Hillary’s Bike Hair
It’s a easy gag, however Jerry Zucker likes the joke the place Hillary is using a bike as her hair flies again. Her hair, nonetheless, stays windblown when the motorbike stops.
The Janitor’s Closet
At one level, Nick and Hillary are working down a hallway, on the lookout for a spot to cover once they come throughout a door labeled “Janitor.” After they open it, they discover a smiling janitor standing there with a mop. “He was a grip on the crew,” explains David Zucker.
Albert Potato’s Introduction
As they’re about to satisfy the French resistance, Nick and Hillary knock on a door and a person solutions through a tiny window seven ft up. “Is that this the potato farm?” Nick asks. “Sure, I’m Albert Potato,” the person responds.
That alone makes for a humorous character introduction, however when Albert Potato solutions the door, it’s revealed that he’s solely about 4 ft tall. “‘I’m Albert Potato’ may win a contest for the stupidest joke on this film,” laughs David Zucker.
Nick’s Blurry Portray
One of many movie’s earliest jokes comes when Nick is on the prepare to Germany. As he takes German classes of nonsense phrases, he’s additionally looking the window and portray. When his portray is revealed, we see a blurry depiction of bushes. “That’s an amazing joke,” Jerry Zucker maintains.
The Dance on the Lodge Homosexual Schluffen
“Lodge Homosexual Schluffen is Yiddish for ‘Good Night time’ or ‘Go to Sleep,’” says Jerry Zucker of the placement the place Nick and Hillary first meet. “A very good joke comes when Val brings Lucy into the resort, and there’s this dance that they do the place they’ve all these actually silly strikes. It’s beautiful the way it all transpires.”
‘Straighten the Rug’
Many of the musical sequences in Prime Secret! parody the vapid musical nonsense in Elvis movies, however none of them does it higher than “Straighten the Rug,” the place Nick dances on a rug to the delight of restaurant-goers. Like the remainder of the songs, it’s expertly sung by Kilmer, which Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker say was a giant motive he obtained the half.
The Aerial Shot with the Hamsters/subtitle]
When Nick appears out a window early on in Prime Secret!, he witnesses an aerial present that’s clearly faux and finished with miniatures, one thing that turns into solely extra obvious as soon as a bunch of hamsters start working alongside the faux automobiles. Of this shot, David Zucker solely says, “There are a number of animals.” To which Jerry Zucker replies, “In all probability a giant mistake.”
Final Rites
Earlier than he’s rescued from jail, Nick is sentenced to dying. On his method to the electrical chair, he’s learn gibberish final rites by a priest. A personality’s shadow then seems within the chair, just for the disclose to be that it’s the priest’s, not Nick’s. It will get a very good giggle, although David Zucker wonders in the event that they actually fooled anybody with the change.
Cedric Turns into Half Man, Half Compact Automobile
Omar Sharif’s character Cedric brings entire new which means to the concept of a “compact automotive.” After being smashed into an car, he reappears as a head on a crushed automotive’s physique. As David Zucker reveals, “We used a (little particular person) and encased him within the block to drag it off.”
The Anal Intruder
When Nick is detained in jail, his agent Martin (Billy J. Mitchell) is available in and says, “Nick, I’ve tried every thing — the embassy, the German authorities, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador, and it’s no use. I simply can’t carry my spouse to orgasm.” That joke is adopted up with one other when Nick palms Martin an “Anal Intruder,” which appears like a jackhammer with a fist on the top of it.
There’s an Easter egg right here, too. “Val’s jail quantity is 4395, which was our tackle the place we lived in Milwaukee,” explains David Zucker.
‘The Nutcracker’
Throughout a efficiency of The Nutcracker that Nick attends, a bunch of male ballerinas come out with enormous bulges of their crotches. David Zucker reveals that a part of that grew out of an act that the trio did onstage years earlier than. “We had a factor referred to as ‘The Proper Guard Ballet,’ and the boy and the lady began out with a waltz whereas spraying Proper Guard beneath their arms. Then Jerry, Jim and I might are available in, and we had large, stuffed crotches. It obtained a giant giggle — that is what handed for humor within the Nineteen Seventies.”
A German Guard Takes a Tumble
“A extremely good joke is when one of many French resistance guys tosses a German guard over the sting, and he lands on the bottom and completely shatters,” says Jerry Zucker. “He was made out of plaster.”
‘Some Issues Are Higher Left Unsaid’
When Nick first meets Hillary, she appears very on edge. He asks her if she’s in hassle with the police, and she or he responds by telling him, “Some issues are higher left unsaid.” “Like what?” he queries again. “Nicely, , typically whenever you blow your nostril right into a tissue, then you definitely put it into your purse, then a short time later it’s important to attain in there on your lipstick or one thing and your hand gushes into it and it goes throughout,” she explains.
Jerry Zucker praises Gutteridge’s efficiency right here, saying that her honest innocence is what sells the gross-out joke.
The East German Anthem
David Zucker tells me that the anthem, which is stuffed with hilarious, if dated, jokes about East Germany, was a rewritten model of the Shorewood Excessive Faculty Hymn, the place Abrahams and the Zuckers attended highschool collectively. He additionally reveals that a lot of the German within the movie is gibberish or Yiddish that they’d picked up from their dad and mom.
‘Store at Macy’s and Love Me Tonight’
Nick provides up his backstory in an intimate second with Hillary, sharing that, when he was a child, he was left in a division retailer and by no means discovered. Thus, he was raised within the retailer and have become a musician after arising with a jingle — a humorous rewrite of Elvis’ “Are You Lonesome Tonight,” which concludes with the road, “Store at Macy’s and love me tonight.”
Nick having a joke of a backstory highlights a problem Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker had throughout manufacturing with the classically-trained Kilmer. As Abrahams explains, “He was troublesome, however looking back, he had plenty of good causes to be troublesome. Who was that character? He begins the film as form of this boastful rock-and-roll jerk. Then, in the course of the film, he’s form of an boastful rock-and-roll jerk. Then, he ends the film as form of an boastful rock-and-roll jerk. There have been issues together with his character that we hadn’t addressed, and (Kilmer) tell us about it.”
“If you happen to take a look at his biography movie that he did (2021’s Val), he’s fairly clear in that he bought his soul for cash doing Prime Secret!,” provides Jerry Zucker. “After we’ve seen him within the years since, he’s been very good, nevertheless it wasn’t artwork.”
The Parachuting Scene
Jerry Zucker says he nonetheless actually enjoys the second when Nick and Hillary are parachuting whereas calmly speaking to 1 one other, one thing that might be fully unimaginable to do in an precise parachuting state of affairs.
The Station Leaving the Practice
“This is among the nice phantasm bits within the movie,” says Jerry Zucker, referring to a scene the place, by way of a prepare window, it seems as if the prepare is leaving the station, however as an alternative, the station itself is pulling away whereas the prepare is stationary. “Prime Secret! is filled with video/visible tips,” provides David Zucker.
The explanation for therefore a lot of these sorts of jokes, Jerry Zucker reveals, is that “we have been making up for Airplane!, which had us caught in just a few areas and a lot of it relied on the dialogue. Doing this film freed us from these constraints.”
Dr. Flammond’s Tunnel
“Don’t overlook the Lincoln Tunnel,” says Jerry Zucker, referring to the joke the place the imprisoned Dr. Flammond builds a tunnel out of jail, however once they reduce to it, it’s a shot of New York Metropolis’s Lincoln Tunnel. “There are such a lot of motion pictures the place a prisoner is digging a tunnel,” says Jerry Zucker. “So we thought it’d be humorous to have this wonderful tunnel. It started as a significant tunnel that he dug; then we thought, ‘What the hell? Let’s make it the Lincoln Tunnel.’”
The Pigeon Statue
In a scene set in a park, an enormous pigeon statue sits far within the background. Three besuited businessmen then fly onto it and urinate. “That was a very large statue,” remembers Jerry Zucker. “That wasn’t a particular impact besides that we needed to take away the wires from the boys.”
The Pigeons
Two different animal gags contain pigeons as nicely. When the French resistance member Latrine slaps a useless provider pigeon, who was holding a traitorous message, and says, “A traitor in our midsts,” one other resistance member tells him, “Nicely finished, Latrine! I see you will have handled him appropriately.”
David Zucker additionally cites one other provider pigeon joke the place the provider pigeon is depicted carrying a miniature pilot’s helmet.
‘How Do You Say, Indispensable?’
“Considered one of my favourite jokes about talking a overseas language comes when the unhealthy man says to Nick, ‘It appears, Mr. Rivers, that you’re, how do you say, indispensable?’ And Nick simply says, ‘Indispensable,’” says David Zucker.
The Empty Boots
“I like once they crawl by way of the fence and see the boots,” says Abrahams of one other visible gag the place Kilmer climbs beneath a fence and sees a pair of shoes, however when the digicam pans up, there’s no person in them. Laughing at this joke, Abrahams laments, “Why didn’t this film do higher?”
Nick’s Escape Makes an attempt
Earlier than Nick flees his cell and meets Dr. Flammond, he has a sequence of failed escape makes an attempt the place he’s attempting a number of completely different jail vents, solely to find all of them lead again to his cell in a really Scooby-Doo-type manner. David Zucker notes that Nick’s cell contained an image of Cher as a result of Kilmer was courting her on the time.
Dr. Flammond’s Calendar
Talking of Kilmer’s courting life, when Dr. Flammond provides up his tragic backstory, he factors to a calendar with a bare-breasted girl on it. “We knew that lady as a result of Val was courting her, too,” says David Zucker.
“Was he courting her? Or screwing her?” Jerry Zucker asks.
“I feel it was each,” David Zucker responds. “I don’t know the place Cher got here in.”
The Big Watch
One other “visible pun,” as David Zucker calls them, includes Nick and two of the resistance fighters infiltrating the jail. One of many resistance fighters asks the opposite, “How lengthy ‘til they reduce the facility?” and the opposite responds, “Three extra minutes.” There’s then a close-up of his watch, with a wider shot revealing that the watch is definitely gigantic.
The Pinto Explodes
“The most important giggle in all of the screenings was the Pinto crashing,” says Jerry Zucker, referring to a scene the place a Jeep gently faucets a Ford Pinto, inflicting the Pinto to violently explode. As Abrahams explains, “What that was based mostly on was, within the Sixties, there have been a bunch of car accidents the place Pintos have been rear-ended, and they’d explode.”
The Crunching Leaves
“I like the scene the place they’re strolling on the useless leaves, and also you hear the leaves crunching,” says Jerry Zucker. “Then Val turns round and goes, ‘Shh,’ and so they proceed strolling and it’s silent.”
The Massive Telephone
One other visible trick was a really juvenile play on perspective. In a German workplace, a cellphone is within the foreground whereas the Germans are within the background. The cellphone is large within the body, however that seems to be simply because it’s closest to the digicam. When it rings, nonetheless, one of many Germans walks over and solutions it, revealing that it’s monumental. Nonetheless chuckling about this bit, David Zucker says, “That’s a beautiful sight gag.”
Skeet Browsing
Prime Secret! begins with a ridiculous musical sequence of a tune Nick wrote referred to as “Skeet Browsing,” which is a parody of “Surfin’ U.S.A.” by the Seashore Boys and options surfers with shotguns taking pictures clay pigeons whereas using waves. “We obtained the concept for the tune once we have been doing press for Airplane!,” reveals David Zucker. “We have been doing a number of press junkets in Europe, and we have been losing interest. So we determined to have a contest for which certainly one of us may get the largest lie in print. They’d all the time ask ‘What’s the most recent factor within the U.S. or in California?’ and certainly one of us mentioned, ‘Nicely, the most recent fad is skeet browsing,’ I can’t bear in mind which of us received the guess, however that really obtained in print and we determined to make use of it in Prime Secret!”
“He’s Only a Little Hoarse”
“The backwards scene and the underwater scene are scenes we like as a result of they have been so elaborate and creative. However the issues folks all the time quote are ‘I do know just a little German’ and ‘He’s just a bit hoarse,’” says Jerry Zucker.
The latter includes a singing miniature horse pulling a carriage (although it initially seems that the motive force is singing). After the carriage drops off Nick and Hillary, the horse coughs, and Hillary inquires if the horse is okay. “He caught a chilly the opposite day, and he’s just a bit hoarse,” the motive force explains earlier than pulling away.
The Gunfight By way of the Glass
This complete gunfight between the Germans and the French resistance is wall-to-wall glass-breaking jokes like Nick taking part in tic-tac-toe through gunfire. “On the finish of that scene, there’s a man who walks on and offers a high-five to a different man. We have been in England, so we needed to train them easy methods to do a high-five.”
‘Let Me Know If There’s Any Change in His Situation’
When Nick is arrested for combating a German sergeant, Nick’s jail guard tells him, “Allow us to hope on your sake that Sergeant Kruger survives.” Subsequent, the cellphone rings and the guard picks it up. He inquires about Kruger’s situation, listens after which provides, “Nicely, let me know if there’s any change in his situation.” After that, he hangs up and shortly says, “He’s useless.” This line nonetheless will get Jerry Zucker.
The Underwater Battle
Within the closing motion sequence of the film, Nick fights the traitor, Nigel (Christopher Villiers), in what finally turns into an underwater bar brawl. “It’s such a good suggestion and it builds so nicely and it’s so nicely choreographed and shot,” says Abrahams. “It actually stands proud.”
The sequence was filmed in a tank at Pinewood Studios, the place an unbelievable variety of traditional motion pictures have been shot. Jerry Zucker says that they realized to scuba dive for the sequence and that the actors got oxygen simply off digicam.
The Backwards Scene
As for the backwards scene on the Swedish bookstore the place Nick and Hillary get some coded info, Jerry Zucker says, “We recorded it backwards so it appears like they’re talking in a overseas language. The actors have been fairly wonderful as a result of that they had a number of issues to maintain monitor of. There was the dialogue and the strolling backwards and Val needed to catch that guide and throw a factor, then the canine needed to are available in. Then, manner on the finish, Peter Cushing needed to maintain that eyeglass precisely proper. Every little thing originally of the scene was finished on the finish of the scene, and the stuff on the finish of the scene was finished originally. It was actually intricate.”
“We rehearsed it for a whole day, then we shot it for a whole day as a result of all of it needed to be finished in a single take,” David Zucker provides. “We could have rehearsed it ahead, then performed it backwards to point out the actors in order that they knew what to do.”
‘I Know a Little German’
“My single favourite joke is when Lucy says to Val, ‘I do know just a little German. He’s sitting over there,’ and it’s a (little particular person) in lederhosen,” says David Zucker of the aforementioned traditional that folks proceed to cite all these years later — together with himself. “I nonetheless use that joke at present when folks inform me they know just a little little bit of a language.”
The Cow
“We are able to’t overlook the entire cow factor both, although,” says Jerry Zucker. When the French resistance fighters attempt to infiltrate the jail towards the top of the film, two of them go undercover in a cow costume. For the scene, nonetheless, they used an actual cow carrying two pairs of rubber boots. That mentioned, the execution of the gag wasn’t as straightforward as simply slipping some boots on a cow. “The cows didn’t just like the boots, so we made them with no bottoms and strapped the tops to the cows’ legs. Getting a cow to do something isn’t straightforward. They’re not the neatest animals. It made me perceive why it’s in all probability okay to eat them.”
‘It All Sounds Like Some Dangerous Film’
“The opposite joke I all the time take into consideration as certainly one of my favorites is when Val recites the entire plot to the viewers,” says David Zucker. The second comes when Hillary returns to her outdated lover, Nigel, and Nick says, “Look, I’m not the primary man who fell in love with a lady he met in a restaurant, who then turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, solely to lose her to her childhood lover who she’d final seen on a abandoned island and who turned out, 15 years later, to be the chief of the French underground.”
In response to this mouthful, Hillary says, “I do know. All of it appears like some unhealthy film,” after which they each take a look at the digicam. “We knew the viewers would have a complete hooting and hollering response to it,” says David Zucker.
As for why it’s the movie’s finest joke, it’s as a result of it’s undeniably gotten so significantly better with age. Some jokes from Prime Secret! may be much less related at present, just like the Pinto gag, however “All of it appears like some unhealthy film” is completely different. Most anybody who’s watching Prime Secret! these days possible has some consciousness of its historical past from bomb to cult traditional, and for the movie’s heroes to mainly acknowledge the lunacy of its plot smack-dab in the course of the film is remarkably clever — and, in fact, very humorous.
