“By no means maintain your self again from attempting one thing new simply since you’re afraid you gained’t be adequate. You’ll by no means get the chance to do your finest work for those who’re not keen to first do your worst after which let your self be taught and develop.” ~Lori Deschene
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I requested my mom for the third time throughout our lunch collectively.
She sighed, put down her fork, and mentioned one thing that also haunts me: “I’ve gotten used to competing together with your cellphone in your consideration.”
I seemed down at my cellphone, Instagram nonetheless glowing on the display screen, and noticed myself by way of her eyes: a twenty-nine-year-old man extra invested in strangers’ lives than his personal mom’s tales.
I’m not alone on this battle.
Research present the typical individual spends two and a half hours each day on social media, with 210 million individuals worldwide believed to undergo from social media dependancy.
However statistics didn’t matter to me till I noticed how my very own dependancy was unraveling the material of my life.
How My Freelance Goals Nearly Died in My Social Media Feed
My freelance enterprise was crumbling, one scroll at a time. What began as “simply checking Twitter for networking” become a each day nightmare of missed deadlines and dissatisfied shoppers.
One morning, I opened my inbox to search out three separate messages from shoppers asking about overdue tasks. Was it that I used to be overpromising or improperly managing my time?
The reality was painful: I’d spent an excessive amount of time consuming different freelancers’ “success tales” on LinkedIn, taking away from doing the work to create my very own.
My portfolio web site sat untouched for months whereas I obsessed over others’ completely curated mission showcases.
An extended-term consumer who’d promised to refer me to his community quietly stopped responding to my emails after I delivered their mission per week late.
Tasks that ought to have taken three targeted hours stretched into two distracted days, stuffed with anxiousness and self-doubt.
Going through the Actual Individual Behind the Display
After shedding an necessary consumer for “not assembly expectations,” I used to be pressured to face an uncomfortable fact: Social media wasn’t my downside—it was my symptom.
I used to be utilizing different freelancers’ spotlight reels as a type of self-sabotage.
Each “hustle tougher” and “how I made $10,741 final month” publish turned an excuse to remain paralyzed compared mode.
Moderately than pitching new shoppers, I’d spend hours finding out different freelancers’ portfolios. As an alternative of enhancing my abilities, I’d scroll by way of Twitter threads promising “Ten secrets and techniques to six-figure freelancing.”
The tougher fact?
My social media dependancy was masking a deeper worry: the worry of truly placing myself on the market and risking actual failure. It was simpler to dwell vicariously by way of others’ success tales than write my very own.
Each time I felt the anxiousness of an approaching deadline or the uncertainty of reaching out to new shoppers, I’d attain for my cellphone. The non permanent escape of scrolling had turn out to be my safety blanket.
My wake-up name got here by way of numbers I couldn’t ignore: I had spent 458 hours on social media prior to now three months—sufficient time to have accomplished a abilities boot camp, began writing a guide, or acquired a number of new skilled certifications.
As an alternative, I had nothing to indicate for these hours besides an intimate data of strangers’ enterprise journeys.
Constructing a New Basis
My preliminary adjustments have been small however vital:
- I moved my cellphone to a different room throughout work hours.
- I created a “worry listing” documenting what I used to be actually avoiding once I reached for social media.
- I arrange web site blockers throughout my designated deep work hours.
- I established a morning routine that started with motion, not consumption.
Essentially the most highly effective change was implementing what I name the “Create Earlier than Devour” rule: I wasn’t allowed to take a look at any social media till I’d created one thing of worth that day—whether or not that was consumer work, enhancing my abilities, or constructing my very own enterprise.
Every time I felt the urge to examine social media, I requested myself, “Am I utilizing this as a instrument, or am I utilizing it as an escape?” The reply was uncomfortable however transformative.
9 instances out of ten, I used to be avoiding one thing necessary—a difficult mission, a tough consumer dialog, or the nagging feeling that I wasn’t dwelling as much as my potential.
The shift from passive client to lively creator wasn’t nearly productiveness—it was about reclaiming my id as knowledgeable.
Every targeted hour turned a small victory, every accomplished mission a testomony to what I might obtain once I stopped hiding behind my display screen.
The Thirty-Day Journey That Modified Every part
I made a decision to alter my relationship with social media quite than avoiding it. First, I needed to rewire my mind to cease associating each free second with reaching for my cellphone.
As an alternative of mindlessly scrolling, I skilled myself to pause and replicate on why I used to be opening an app within the first place. Was it out of boredom, behavior, or real intention?
Right here’s what occurred throughout my thirty-day detox.
Week 1: The Withdrawal Was Bodily
I began preserving a journal of the moments I reached for my cellphone.
One entry reads: “Reached for cellphone forty-seven instances earlier than midday. Really feel empty, anxious. Why is sitting with my very own ideas so terrifying?”
Week 2: Rediscovering Misplaced Connections
I referred to as my mom—truly referred to as her, not simply preferred her Fb posts. We talked for 2 hours. She informed me tales about her childhood I’d by no means heard earlier than. “That is the primary actual dialog we’ve had in years,” she mentioned.
Week 3: The Productiveness Breakthrough
After being unmotivated for a few weeks, I found I might full work in three hours that beforehand took all day.
My shoppers seen the change. One in every of them even informed me, “Nice work! It’s clear no matter you’re doing is working—stick with it!”
Listening to that suggestions reaffirmed simply how highly effective it may be to take management of your digital habits.
Week 4: Discovering Actual Pleasure in Self-Improvement
Essentially the most profound change got here once I changed senseless scrolling with intentional studying.
I dedicated to studying “Deep Work” by Cal Newport. The irony wasn’t misplaced on me—I’d saved that guide to my “to learn” listing months in the past, proper between watching productiveness TikToks and Instagram tutorials.
For the primary time in years, I skilled what true focus felt like.
I began every morning with two hours of uninterrupted studying. As an alternative of scrolling by way of LinkedIn success tales, I used to be creating content material and finishing tasks of my very own.
Breaking Free: What Really Works
By means of my journey, I found some counterintuitive truths about breaking social media dependancy:
1. Chilly turkey doesn’t work long-term. As an alternative, create “social media hours,” designated instances whenever you enable your self to examine platforms.
2. Exchange digital connections with actual ones. I now have “espresso dates” with associates as an alternative of messenger chats.
3. Observe conscious utilization: Earlier than opening any social media app, I ask myself, “What am I looking for proper now?” Often, it’s connection, validation, or escape from uncomfortable feelings.
4. Create earlier than consuming. I spend my mornings writing or creating quite than scrolling by way of others’ creations.
The Ongoing Journey
Six months later, I nonetheless use social media however in a different way.
I’ve rebuilt relationships I practically misplaced.
Most significantly, I’m current in my very own life.
The true revelation wasn’t about social media being inherently unhealthy—it was about how simply we will lose ourselves within the digital world whereas the true one passes us by.
