“Perfection will not be attainable, but when we chase perfection, we will catch excellence.” ~Vince Lombardi
Okay, let’s be actual for a second. As I sit right here making an attempt to put in writing this good essay about embracing imperfection, the irony isn’t misplaced on me. I’ve rewritten this opening paragraph about 5 instances now. Outdated habits die exhausting, proper?
Image this: It’s 2:37 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. I’m pacing the lecture corridor, watching my regulation college students furiously scribbling away at their examination papers. Their furrowed brows and white-knuckle grips on their pens remind me of, effectively, me, not too way back.
Flashback to my very own regulation college days. There I used to be, the quintessential overachiever. Nostril perpetually buried in a casebook, surviving on a weight-reduction plan of espresso and sheer dedication. Excellent grades, good internships, good profession trajectory—these weren’t simply objectives, they had been my total identification. The strain I placed on myself was so intense, I’m shocked my hair didn’t flip grey by commencement. (Spoiler alert: It’s beginning to now, however I digress.)
Quick-forward to my transition from training regulation to educating it. I assumed I had all of it found out. Professor Kalyani Abhyankar, the flawless authorized thoughts, right here to form the following era of legal professionals. Ha! If solely I knew what I used to be in for.
It was throughout one significantly “memorable” lecture that my perfectionist facade started to crack. I had spent hours making ready what I assumed was a flawless presentation on constitutional regulation. I used to be on hearth, if I do say so myself, rattling off case citations like a human authorized database. After which it occurred. I combined up two landmark circumstances.
The horror! The disgrace! In that second, I swear I may hear the ghost of Justice Brandeis weeping. I stood there, frozen on the podium, ready for the bottom to swallow me complete.
However then one thing surprising occurred. A scholar raised her hand and requested, “Professor Abhyankar, are you okay?”
And identical to that, the dam broke. All my insecurities got here flooding out in entrance of my class. My concern of not being ok, the crushing weight of at all times needing to be good, the nervousness that one mistake would unravel my total profession.
To my utter shock, as an alternative of judgment, I used to be met with… understanding? Empathy, even? One in every of my college students really mentioned, “Wow, Prof. We at all times thought you had been this untouchable authorized genius. However this… this makes you human. It’s type of inspiring, really.”
Inspiring? Me? The one having a meltdown in entrance of her class? However as I appeared across the room, I noticed nodding heads and relieved faces. It was as if by exhibiting my very own vulnerability, I had given them permission to be imperfect too.
This was the start of my messy, typically irritating, however finally liberating journey towards embracing imperfection. And let me inform you, it wasn’t a easy trip.
At first, I attempted to schedule “imperfection time” into my day. Sure, you learn that proper. I, Kalyani Abhyankar, recovering perfectionist, tried to good the artwork of being imperfect. The irony will not be misplaced on me, I guarantee you.
There have been setbacks galore. I’d resolve to be extra laid-back in school, solely to seek out myself obsessively color-coding my lecture notes at 2 AM. I’d promise myself I wouldn’t overthink my college students’ questions, then spend hours agonizing over whether or not my off-the-cuff reply about tort regulation was complete sufficient.
However slowly, oh so slowly, issues started to shift. I began to concentrate to my classroom with new eyes. I seen how essentially the most partaking discussions typically arose from questions I couldn’t reply instantly. I noticed how college students realized extra from working via errors than from memorizing good responses.
Listed here are a few of the adjustments I stumbled my method via:
1. Training self-compassion
As a substitute of berating myself for each perceived failure, I attempted to deal with myself with the identical kindness I’d provide a struggling scholar. This meant acknowledging my efforts, whatever the end result. And sure, generally it meant wanting within the mirror and saying, “You’re doing okay, Kalyani,” even after I felt like a complete impostor.
2. Setting sensible objectives
Somewhat than aiming for an not possible normal of perfection, I realized to set difficult however achievable objectives. This allowed me to have fun progress and preserve motivation. Novel idea, proper?
3. Embracing the training course of
I began to view errors—each mine and my college students’—not as failures however as beneficial educating moments. Every setback grew to become a possibility to deepen understanding and foster crucial pondering. Who knew that “I don’t know, let’s determine it out collectively” might be such highly effective phrases in a classroom?
4. Cultivating a development mindset
As a substitute of seeing authorized aptitude as fastened, I started to emphasise to my college students (and myself) the capability to develop abilities via effort and follow. This made us all extra keen to sort out difficult authorized issues, even when we didn’t at all times get it proper the primary time.
5. Letting go of comparability
I noticed that consistently measuring myself towards different professors or authorized students was about as productive as making an attempt to show constitutional regulation to my cat. As a substitute, I centered on my distinctive strengths as an educator and mentor.
Now, don’t get me improper. I nonetheless have days the place my interior perfectionist rears its meticulously groomed head. I nonetheless sometimes discover myself up at midnight, agonizing over a single phrase alternative in my lecture notes. Rome wasn’t in-built a day, and recovering perfectionists aren’t cured in a single day.
However right here’s the kicker: As I’ve realized to embrace my imperfections, I’ve really develop into a greater professor. Free from the paralysis of perfectionism, I’m extra artistic in my educating strategies, extra keen to sort out controversial authorized subjects, and extra open to suggestions from college students and colleagues.
My college students appear to desire this new, barely messier model of Professor Abhyankar. They’re extra engaged, extra keen to take dangers of their pondering, and—dare I say it—they appear to be having extra enjoyable. Who knew that constitutional regulation may really be pleasant?
To these nonetheless caught within the grip of perfectionism, whether or not in regulation college, authorized follow, or another area, I provide this hard-won knowledge: Your price will not be decided by flawless efficiency. There’s profound power in vulnerability, in admitting that you simply’re nonetheless studying and rising.
Embrace your imperfections. They’re not weaknesses to be hidden however distinctive points of who you might be as an expert and human being. Let go of the exhausting chase for perfection and as an alternative, chase development and authenticity.
In doing so, you could discover that you simply obtain issues far higher than perfection—you obtain a life that’s totally and superbly lived. And if you happen to occur to combine up a number of Supreme Courtroom circumstances alongside the best way? Effectively, you’re in good firm.
About Kalyani Abhyankar
Kalyani Abhyankar is a professor of regulation and mindset coach, specializing in administrative regulation and shopper safety. She is enthusiastic about serving to others domesticate a limitless mindset and private development via her work on LinkedIn and past.
