With Chicago taking part in host to the Democratic Nationwide Conference, Mayor Brandon Johnson is within the nationwide highlight. The Onion sat down with the progressive to debate the DNC, tourism, and his first yr in workplace.
The Onion: What recommendation do you’ve gotten for these visiting Chicago this week?
Johnson: Please take your footwear off when visiting our metropolis. The carpet is new.
The Onion: What’s your most proud accomplishment because you grew to become mayor?
Johnson: I efficiently negotiated to maintain my AT&T dwelling web invoice on the introductory fee for one more yr.
The Onion: What’s your favourite factor about Chicago?
Johnson: I actually love that it is just two hours from Milwaukee.
The Onion: Do you assume The Bear supplied an correct depiction of Chicago?”
Johnson: Chicago residents get screamed at by Jamie Lee Curtis far more usually.
The Onion: How are you addressing the migrant disaster?
Johnson: I employed a man to tamper with Greg Abbott’s buses in order that they break down in Missouri.
The Onion: What’s one thing that has shocked you throughout your time as mayor?
Johnson: Apparently Chicago isn’t the capital of Illinois, which nonetheless feels so fucked as much as me.
The Onion: What motivates you?
Johnson: Realizing that I’m the mayor and if I don’t go to work, they’ll write about it within the paper.
The Onion: We’ve a message for you from the academics’ union: “The raven lands at midnight.”
Johnson: Oh pricey God, no, not but, they informed me I had extra time!
The Onion: The place ought to DNC vacationers go whereas they’re right here?
Johnson: Positively take a look at the basement the place Barack Obama smoked weed for the primary time then freaked out and tried to take his shirt off, after which threw up within the shirt.
