Haliey Welch, a 21-year-old from Tennessee, was dubbed the “Hawk Tuah” lady after showing in a viral video through which she used onomatopoeia to explain an oral intercourse tip. The Onion sat down with Welch to debate social media, fame, and the following steps for her profession.
The Onion: What different noises are you able to make?
Welch: Chugga-chugga choo-choo!
The Onion: How lengthy do you count on your fame to final?
Welch: On the very least, till my U-Haul will get to L.A.
The Onion: Are you able to clarify what you meant by “spit on that thang”?
Welch: It’s a reference to the ritualized humiliation of the corpses of fascist dictator Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci by a Milanese mob, who mocked and spat on their lifeless our bodies within the Piazzale Loreto.
The Onion: How a lot “Hawk Tuah” merchandise have you ever offered thus far?
Welch: Answering that might solely depress everybody.
The Onion: What do you assume folks can be stunned to study you?
Welch: I’ve solely ever seen one penis, and I used to be so frightened by it, I panicked and smashed it with a stable brass paper weight.
The Onion: What’s subsequent for you?
Welch: A model take care of a throat numbing spray and a four-episode arc on a Netflix actuality relationship present.
The Onion: What recommendation would you want to provide to your followers?
Welch: You aren’t your ideas, however somewhat the observer of your ideas. The self you cling to is however a peripheral glimpse of the bloody machine of your thoughts at work.
The Onion: Has going viral modified the way in which males work together with you in any respect?
Welch: No, each interplay remains to be dangerous.
The Onion: Any darkish secrets and techniques you need to simply get out within the open earlier than the web finds them?
Welch: Oh, just a few fairly normal Tennessee stuff, like a drunk-driving hit-and-run.
