You want to know who it’s who has possessed your little one’s physique? Very properly. I’m recognized by many names. Devil. Lucifer. The Prince of Darkness. The King of Corruption. The Monarch of Malevolence. The Sultan of Sin. The Larger-up of Heinousness. The Boss From Hell. Jonathan Evil, the person who evil is known as after. The Surprise From Down Beneath. Mr. Candle, as a result of I’m depraved.
Sure, I’ve walked this Earth below numerous kinds for numerous years. You will have known as me the Anti-Christ. Bizarro-God. The Divinaughty. Providen’t. The horn in attractive. The unique Pitchfork Media. The satan . Lethal Do-Fallacious. Purple Lifeless Unredemption. The person downstairs. Steve Johnson, however that turned out to be a mistake. That they had me confused with another person.
Do you continue to not know me? Maybe you’ve heard me spoken of as Baphomet. Beelzebub. Abaddon. A Even Worse ‘On. Behemoth, and earlier than that, Behecaterpillar and briefly, Behecoccoon. Leviathan. Leviathaniel, for those who’re my mom. Sam-I-El. Belphegor. Beth Folklore, at Starbucks, one time. Moloch, Mo’ Issues. Mammon, quick for Mammon Eggs. Baal. Bale, actually anytime I ask somebody to write down that down. Azrael. Azazel. Pretzel. Zinfandel. Carousel.
You… nonetheless don’t acknowledge me? None of these? Wow, normally, folks cease me earlier than I get this far. No, no, I do produce other names. I’m also referred to as the Evil One. The man within the particulars. The me in blasphemy. Joey Tribbiani. Rachel Inexperienced. Monica Gellar. Chandler Bing. That’s proper. I used to be each fundamental character from Buddies. Nobody might show it, however all of them suspected. The tinker’s rattling. Everybody else’s too. Steve Johnson once more, and it was additionally a mistake, but it surely wasn’t even the identical Steve Johnson. I assume I simply seem like a Steve Johnson.
Nothing? Not ringing a bell in any respect? This has by no means occurred to me earlier than. Properly, you’ve positively heard of Hell, proper? You recognize. The Inferno? Hades? Pandemonium? The recent spot? Sinner-man spice combine? The buck stops right here? The improper facet of the tracks? Eville? City under? Sufferin’ brimstone? Snakes and latters? The Badlands? The lake of fireplace? The pond of lava? The bayou of acid? The estuary of needles, daggers and miscellaneous sharp objects?
No, there’s no manner. It’s important to have heard of me. I’m actually the daddy of lies. The grandfather of half-truths. The second cousin as soon as eliminated of slight exaggerations. Davy Jones, however not the one from the Monkees, thanks for asking. Much more unique sin. Outdated Hob. Outdated Nick. Younger Nick. Younger at coronary heart Hob. These final two nobody calls me but, however I’m attempting to get them to catch on. Idle hand Luke. The satan off your shoulder. The lord of the flies. The baron of the beetles. The depend of the crickets. The marquis of the mosquitos. The marquito, for brief.
Okay, what? I’m simply gonna rattle off the remainder. Mr. Jerkface. Some jerk. That jerk. An actual jerk. Jerkey-jerk-jerk-jerkey-jerkson-mcjerko-jerkface and so they saved going for some time however type of trailed off after that. The Vomit Comet, after an unlucky incident in highschool. Mr. Chunky-cheeks once I was three. Mr. Chunky-cheeks once more, once I was 27, for various causes. You recognize, perhaps we don’t really must go over all of those.
However you’re completely certain you haven’t even heard of Mephistopheles? The serpent? The hiss in historical past? The nice crimson dragon? The okay crimson dragon? The first rate crimson dragon contemplating the circumstances? Wow. Properly. That’s okay. Yeah, it’s wonderful. I’m simply gonna go, I assume. You possibly can have your little one’s physique again. No, you didn’t do something improper.
Certain, you possibly can simply name me Steve, if you need.
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