ST. LOUIS—Increasing its product choices past its long-running line of chewable tablets, antacid producer Tums launched a brand new sternly worded observe Tuesday that reportedly works by reminding customers they know higher than to eat that stuff within the first place. “One of the best technique of heartburn aid stays having some goddamn self-control and saying no to that fourth slice of pizza,” the letter learn partially, including that whereas a dose of calcium carbonate might assist mitigate the signs of indigestion, it could hardly be vital if an individual confirmed even the tiniest little bit of respect for themselves by avoiding meals that upset their abdomen. “You might be an grownup, proper? So clearly you understand how this works: You go nuts on a chili canine, comply with it with French fries, and 20 minutes later you’re in a world of misery. Has it ever occurred to you to eat sensibly? Hmm? It’s as in case you have full amnesia each time there’s a bucket of scorching wings and a six-pack of beer in entrance of you.” Officers from Tums confirmed the sternly worded letter could be out there in its authentic scolding tone in addition to an extra-strength what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you formulation.
