With Joe Biden stepping apart from the 2024 presidential race, the Democratic Celebration has put its cash, manpower, and destiny within the arms of Kamala Harris. The Onion sat down with the vice chairman to debate her political profession, her whirlwind nomination, and her imaginative and prescient for the way forward for the USA of America.
The Onion: What’s your favourite guide?
Kamala Harris: If I don’t say Changing into, Michelle will pull her endorsement. However actually it’s The Audacity Of Hope.
Is Joe Biden good in actual life?
I don’t know, I’ve by no means met him.
What’s it like being the primary presidential candidate to have dated Montel Williams?
Truly, I’m the third presidential candidate to have dated Montel Williams, after James Madison and Woodrow Wilson.
Do you’re feeling strain operating in opposition to Donald Trump?
No, as a result of regardless of who wins, a Howard College alumna shall be president.
How do you propose to attraction to white, working-class voters?
By promising to destroy their lifestyle and usher in a brand new period of mixed-race dominance, after all.
We made manner an excessive amount of hen vesuvio. Do you need to take some dwelling?
Certain. I maintain Tupperware in my purse for exactly this cause.
What’s your plan for stabilizing the battle between Israel and Palestine?
I’ve a tremendous thought that can 100% work, however I’m not going to present it to you totally free proper now. You need to elect me to get the plan.
What are your views on the demise penalty?
In the event you maintain sticking your nostril in locations it doesn’t belong, you’re gonna discover out.
Do you miss California?
Chah, brah. However I’m hella stoked on the White Home.
Who will you be voting for this November?
Donald J. Trump. I simply don’t suppose a girl ought to be president. Sorry!
