Surprise! We’re the brand new financial institution that acquired the financial institution you employ! Welcome to your new financial institution, MegaTrustBank! Do not let the “mega” half idiot you, although. Although we’re from an unnamed main metropolis that’s not in your state and now we have over 5 thousand branches from coast to coast, we’re not “mega” as in “massive”… we’re “mega” as in “need your cash.” MegaTrustBank—Give Us Your Cash.
We’re proud to announce that MegaTrustBank is now TrustTrust Financial institution! We’re the brand new title in your outdated financial institution! Belief is greater than only a phrase to us—it is a phrase we now use twice in our title. See how reliable we’re? Additionally, we have determined that we began a few years in the past as a small financial institution in a small city within the state the place you presently dwell! TrustTrust Financial institution—The Reliable Financial institution You Can Belief For All Your Banking Wants.
Introducing StableTrust Financial institution! After a collection of high-profile financial institution closures on the West Coast, costly market analysis has proven that we should always rebrand to mirror how steady we’re. We cannot exit of enterprise, pinky promise. As a banking entity, we have been in enterprise for thus lengthy that George Washington was certainly one of our first clients. After we requested him to point out some identification so he might money his verify, he confirmed us a greenback invoice. Anecdotal humor in our commercials implies stability, in accordance with costly market analysis. StableTrust Financial institution—Secure and Reliable Banking for Your Cash.
TechNowLogy, a big expertise agency from Silicon Valley, has acquired StableTrust Financial institution in an effort to add banking to their portfolio of companies. They’ve determined to infuse StableTrust with their tech experience, so your financial institution is now often known as MyTechNowBanking. We’re going all in for on-line banking! At MyTechNowBanking, now we have the most recent in technological intelligence backing us. Our cutting-edge app supplies you with a one-stop digital location to deal with all of your banking wants, whether or not you are on the workplace, driving in your automotive, or sitting on the bathroom. We perceive, nonetheless, that some clients wish to communicate with an precise particular person, and would favor to keep away from on-line banking altogether. Don’t be concerned! We’ll nonetheless have bodily places conveniently close to you! When you enter your native department, you may see a number of massive TV screens on the again wall. Merely contact a display screen and you can speak to a digital banking affiliate who will have the ability to help you in downloading the MyTechNowBanking app to your telephone. MyTechNowBanking—Obtain Our App Immediately! Do It! Proper Now!
As luck would have it, TechNowLogy acquired snarled in some Bitcoin malfeasance and went bankrupt. In consequence, the property of MyTechNowBanking had been bought by a Texas chain of comfort shops seeking to diversify. Say “Howdy y’all” to your new financial institution: Massive Star Store ‘N Financial institution! Massive Star is understood throughout the South because the Disney Land of comfort shops, so it is the perfect of each worlds! Rows of snacks and sweet! Checks cashed! 200 flavors of shaved ice! 401K recommendation! Doughnuts! Mortgage purposes! And look, there’s Beary, Massive Star’s smiling bear mascot! He’ll dance and sing a tune for you! Now you may get your funding recommendation and a Beary t-shirt on the identical location! Massive Star Cease ‘N Financial institution—Massive Snacks! Massive Banking! Massive Enjoyable!
Enterprise capitalist, funding genius, and Shark Tank star Mark Cuban simply bought the banking property of Massive Star Cease ‘N Financial institution as a result of he was bored. He is determined to rebrand the financial institution to higher mirror his portfolio of companies. Asserting… Financial institution. No extra snacks or foolish singing animals. Simply banking. Take a look at our severe, but soothing new emblem: it is a triangle inside a sq. inside a circle. Or is it a circle inside a triangle inside a sq.? Does not matter. At Financial institution, we deal with your banking wants in a severe, but soothing method. All our branches are adorned within the severe, but soothing colours of tan, beige, and brown. You actually really feel like banking now, do not you? At Financial institution, our philosophy is easy: Your drawback? Our resolution. Your query? Our reply. Your cash? It is within the Financial institution. Our Financial institution. Your Financial institution. Financial institution.
After intensive focus group analysis, it seems that clients did not have an emotional reference to the Financial institution model, so Mark Cuban offered Financial institution to a big banking conglomerate. Now that we’re a part of a devoted banking firm once more, market research have proven us that our clients need the trustworthiness of a big, well-known financial institution. A financial institution with a well-known and revered title. In consequence, we’re happy to say: Welcome again to MegaTrustBank.
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