Former President Donald Trump famously mentioned that he could be “a dictator” on day one if he’s reelected this November. Right here is every part that Trump plans to do on his first day in workplace.
Fill Out W-4
Even when they’ve an outdated one on file, you continue to should do a brand new one for no matter dumb motive.
Rehang Portrait Of Christy Canyon
The ’80s porn star and Swank journal mannequin’s life-size portrait will once more dangle the place the portrait of FDR at the moment does.
Ask If He Can Go House Early
There’s famously not a lot to do on day certainly one of any job, and it wouldn’t be a shock if Trump requested to punch out of labor early.
Construct the IKEA Malm Mattress
Scandinavian minimalism and inexpensive pricing will function closely within the returning president’s inside design selections.
Make Himself Beg For A Pardon
He’s prepared to pardon himself, however provided that he will get down on his palms and knees.
Mark Top On Oval Workplace Door Jamb
It will likely be thrilling to see how a lot he’s grown!
Prosecute And Instantly Pardon Tucker Carlson
Something to get again on his good aspect.
Deport Everybody Whose Names He Can’t Pronounce
This would come with roughly 200 million People.
Hearth His Press Secretary
It’s like driving a motorcycle.
Assign Slurs To Staffers
Trump is for certain to get proper to calling his staffers hateful phrases the minute he’s within the Oval Workplace.
Grasp Mike Pence
Failing to kill his VP was certainly one of Trump’s greatest regrets from his earlier time period.
Execute One-Third Of All People At Random
Political commentators have harassed that this was doubtless an exaggeration by Trump and the true quantity shall be no bigger than 25%.
Discover Out The place Our Waitress Went
He’s gonna go discover her as a result of she hasn’t come by in, like, quarter-hour.
Hour-Lengthy On-line Coaching Module On How To Be An Upstanding President
HR makes each president do that.
Invade Luxembourg
Nobody will see it coming, and a wartime president is at all times well-liked.
Preemptively Pardon Everybody Concerned In The Occasions Of Feb. 12, 2025
You’ll discover out why that date is important when the time comes.
Launch New Merch
These lawsuits don’t pay for themselves!
