DES MOINES, IA—Noting that they already felt nearer because of the train, staff of native firm Alpa Options relied on their company group constructing abilities Wednesday whereas disposing of their CEO’s physique. “It was wonderful from begin to end—we felt empowered to work collectively and go above and past as we hid, chopped up, and buried the bloodied corpse of our chief govt officer,” stated workplace supervisor Jeremy Collins, including that the employees used abilities corresponding to delegation, collaboration, and strategic pondering to place the 68-year-old company govt in a trash bag, throw him at the back of a truck, burn his physique in a subject, after which bury his bones below 6 ft of filth. “When it comes all the way down to it, my coworkers have been skilled, expert, and—better of all—energetic listeners when it got here to hatching a plan to distract the safety guard, wipe the digicam footage, and clear up the board room. Plus, we actually do belief one another to not go to the police. And if one in every of us does, they get the ax.” At press time, Collins additionally added that he was glad he took the anti-harassment course so he didn’t say something inappropriate to his CEO whereas he was killing him.
