KNOXVILLE, TN—Seizing each machine belonging to the person throughout a coordinated operation between native police and the FBI, authorities reportedly positioned wicked Anglophile Ned McCann below arrest Thursday after uncovering a tough drive with 1.5 terabytes of hardcore pictures that includes Rory Kinnear, David Mitchell, and different Britons. “The disturbing pictures of English public figures discovered on this difficult drive would make the common American lose their lunch,” lead detective Greg Jansen mentioned as his crew dragged the Brit-obsessed pervert into an interrogation room to elucidate his sick fascination with Ian McKellen, Jennifer Saunders, Stuart Lee, and several other extra pasty white fellows but to be recognized. “Photos of massive enamel and Oxford sneakers, movies of beans being consumed very first thing within the morning—these are the traditional indicators of rampant Anglophilia that we’re taught to look out for within the academy. Clearly we’re coping with an unbalanced particular person who must be locked up someplace he can not entry The Guardian’s cultural criticism or tabloid photographs of the royal household in The Solar. We’re simply fortunate we caught this son-of-a-bitch earlier than he escalated—we discovered Welsh rarebit and clotted cream in his fridge and have motive to consider he was going to make use of it to lure Hugh Laurie right into a recreation of Taskmaster. Thank God a neighbor tipped us off after McCann saved insisting he come over to look at a VHS field set of Are You Being Served?” At press time, a Technical Help Response Unit officer was seen vomiting after discovering the person’s desktop laptop background was Stewie Griffin posing in entrance of a Union Jack flag.
