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Thursday, July 25, 2024

Each Time RFK Jr. Was a Worse Husband Than Larry David

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s presidential marketing campaign has been one catastrophe after one other — not simply because he’s within the suboptimal place of being a Democrat operating towards a Democratic incumbent president, but in addition as a result of his platform reads like a hastily-assembled collage of anti-vaxxer bumper stickers. That stated, RFK Jr.’s candidacy continues to be of curiosity to comedy followers primarily as a result of his spouse is Cheryl Hines, the actress greatest identified for enjoying Cheryl David, Larry David’s spouse (and ultimately ex-wife) on Curb Your Enthusiasm. 

Consequently, lots of followers have considered Kennedy’s latest public screwups via a Curb lens. Like when he first introduced his candidacy, following an introduction from Hines…

…solely to abruptly depart the stage and get caught on a scorching mic scrambling to acquire a paper copy of his speech as a result of the model on the teleprompter was “the wrong way up.” It didn’t take lengthy earlier than of us on social media added the jaunty Curb Your Enthusiasm music to the video. Sadly, there was no video footage of the marketing campaign dinner that was interrupted by a voluminous fart, in any other case it absolutely would have gotten the identical remedy. 

Maybe it’s not truthful to check an actress’ real-life accomplice with their fictional, HBO-owned counterpart. However it’s greater than just a little humorous that Hines’ precise husband is seemingly a approach shittier partner than Larry David, TV’s most amoral misanthrope. For instance, some of the inarguably offensive moments in Curb was when Larry stole a pair of footwear from an exhibit at a Holocaust museum.

It’s onerous to high that stage of galling callousness to one of many worst atrocities in human historical past. However Kennedy was up for the problem! In 2022, he spoke at an anti-vaccine rally and steered that modern-day well being rules had been extra oppressive than Nazi Germany, positing, “Even in Hitler’s Germany, you might cross the Alps into Switzerland; you’ll be able to disguise in an attic like Anne Frank did.”

Not surprisingly, his suggestion that Anne Frank had it super-easy as a result of she didn’t must get inoculated or put on a masks whereas buying at Dealer Joe’s didn’t go over nicely. The remark prompted widespread condemnation, together with from Hines herself, who wrote (in a now-deleted Tweet) that his speech was “reprehensible and insensitive,” including, “His opinions usually are not a mirrored image of my very own.”

Kennedy tried to make issues proper by providing Hines… a separation? Or no less than an announcement of 1. Apparently this was executed to “defend her from scrutiny of his political statements.” However given the persistent rumors that Kennedy is a infamous “womanizer,” which Kennedy’s associates allegedly warned Hines about previous to their marriage, one can’t assist however marvel if this was actually so altruistic.

And talking of alleged philandering, earlier than Hines got here alongside, Kennedy “proposed to second spouse Mary Richardson whereas nonetheless married to first spouse Emily Black.” And through his marriage, he reportedly saved a “secret diary” cataloging his varied sexual conquests, which he blamed on “lust demons.” Say what you’ll about Larry David, however he remained trustworthy to his spouse, aside from the instances he tried to capitalize on his tenth anniversary current. And even then, he didn’t attempt to blame all of it on evil spirits. 

After Kennedy’s second spouse dedicated suicide in 2012, two years after he had filed for divorce, Kennedy waged a “bitter” authorized battle together with her household so as to keep possession of the physique, which he wished to be buried within the Kennedy household plot. He received, however after the funeral, Kennedy had his late spouse’s physique dug up and transferred to a different part of the cemetery, as a result of, as he advised gravediggers on the time, it appeared much less “crowded.”

This was after Kennedy had began courting Hines, a courtship that, oddly, started with him asking for the actual Larry David’s “permission,” which would appear antiquated, if not for the truth that initiating a courtship by looking for the consent of a grown lady’s pretend TV husband was by no means a factor.

Cheryl David broke up together with her husband for paying extra consideration to a cable TV restore than her panicked cellphone name from a turbulent airline flight. Are you able to think about if Larry was A) nonetheless technically married to a different lady; B) fought tooth and nail for management over her corpse; and C) quietly exhumed her physique on a whim? 

And whereas Cheryl David might not have been an enormous fan of lots of Larry’s associates, no less than they weren’t dangerous sufficient to warrant some kind of banning. However Hines needed to flat-out forbid Kennedy from “speaking with far-right agitators Steve Bannon and Alex Jones,” aka the Jeff Greene and Richard Lewis of the white supremacist media world. 

You (sure, you) ought to comply with JM on Twitter (if it nonetheless exists by the point you’re studying this).

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