You love purchasing at a quaint used bookstore—the comfortable vibes, the pleasant individuals, the stacks of gently-loved literary treasures—however these cabinets are stocked with extra than simply books. They’re additionally full of a complete library of airborne irritants that’ll wreak havoc in your respiratory system.

Introducing Claritin-UB, the one prescription-strength, over-the-counter allergy medicine particularly formulated to work in opposition to widespread secondhand bookstore allergens, together with:

  • Mud, particularly the distinctive mud cocktail created by amassing detritus from lots of of individuals’s cabinets and crawl areas into one location the place they commingle with different dusts, creating a brand new, even dustier mud.
  • Cat dander, as a result of even a resident store mascot named Jane Pawsten or Edgar Allen Purr is lovely, the actual fact is that over ten p.c of individuals are allergic to cats. And opposite to well-liked perception amongst used bookstore homeowners, individuals with cat allergic reactions get pleasure from studying, too.
  • Musty smells like that one which when you’re from an older New England metropolis you don’t actually discover till you go to high school out west after which come residence and understand that there’s this bizarre, pervasive scent of “outdated” you possibly can’t fairly put your finger on, however it’s type of like any person shoved moist mothballs right into a dryer vent, if that is sensible.
  • And Silverfish, nature’s wiggly little bookmarks!

Claritin-UB allows you to lastly get pleasure from these unplanned visits to small, second-hand booksellers tucked away in underwhelming industrial arts districts or down the wonky basement stairs of a multi-use Georgian-style townhouse.

The haunted attic-tested formulation could have you again to looking by buttermilk-colored paperbacks in as few as half-hour with fast-acting, multi-symptom medicine for:

  • Runny Nostril — and wiping it on the sleeve of that cardigan you “thrifted” for $65.
  • Coughing — like your favourite tubercular interval romance heroine.
  • Scratchy Throat — clearing it each few seconds such as you’re passive-aggressively attempting to squeeze previous individuals within the slender aisles.
  • Itchy, Watery Eyes — is that scrawled inscription the creator’s signature or a observe from the earlier proprietor’s aunt?
  • Pores and skin Rash — that will solely be exacerbated by your thrifted cardigan.
  • Sinus Congestion — and interrupting anybody else’s studying by nose-breathing like a puppy-mill French bulldog.
  • Wheezing — apart from the great type of wheezing, like whenever you’re tickled by a dog-eared assortment of Far Aspect comics.
  • And Sneezing — onto the pages of a giant format photograph e-book of Helmut Newton nudes that you simply have been leafing by since you’re cultured and never since you’re lonely.

And it’s not only for bookstores! Claritin-UB’s Hoarders cleanup crew-level power can sort out different dank and dingy environments, together with:

  • Indoor flea markets.
  • Coastal city reward retailers that burn a ton of incense to override the omnipresent stink of lifeless marine life.
  • Grandma’s rarely-used visitor bed room full of collectible porcelain dolls.
  • Your coworker’s residence the place the corporate is holding its Secret Santa reward swap and no one thought to reveal that they’re additionally fostering a pack of rescue pomeranians.
  • Money-only bodegas that also inventory bins of breakfast cereal selling a “free CD-ROM inside.”
  • Bible research and 12-Step conferences in that awkward a part of a church that doesn’t architecturally match the remainder of the constructing.
  • Spooky outdated mansions you must spend the night time at as a way to inherit your great-uncle’s fortune.

Unwanted effects of Claritin-UB could embrace:

  • Elevated quirkiness.
  • Shopping for an older print of a title you already personal.
  • Acute scoliosis from lugging too many books residence in your New Yorker tote.
  • Insatiable thirst for Earl Grey tea.
  • Sudden urges to undertake a longhaired cat named Walt Whiskerman.

Now you possibly can store for first editions with out worry! Ask your antiquarian if Claritin-UB is best for you.

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