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Males Clarify Why They Favor Low-IQ Wives


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Regardless of how vacuous and empty a person’s mind is, his life associate ought to all the time be dumber. The Onion requested males why they like low-IQ wives, and that is what they stated.

Daniel Barnes, Historian

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“Regardless of the motive, my choice is by no means a mirrored image of my very own insecurities as a person.”

Isaiah Valdez, Gravedigger

Isaiah Valdez, Gravedigger

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“I’m a easy man. I simply need a good, conventional girl I can simply manipulate.”

Jack Thompson, Welder

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“It makes it simpler to clarify to them why I’ve so many different wives.”

Frank Alonzo, Optician

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“I’m the dumbest particular person at work, and I’m certain as hell not coming residence to being the dumbest particular person there too.”

Todd Polk, Development Employee

Todd Polk, Development Employee

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“A girl who can assume for herself is all the time lower than a month from breaking apart with me.”

Randall Judd, Microbiologist

Randall Judd, Microbiologist

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“It could really feel good to win at Join 4 for as soon as.”

Mack Bowers, Economist

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“I really feel safer in a relationship once I prevail at sorting objects by form and even shade.”

Brian Pearlman, Chef

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“It’s lots simpler to cheat on somebody when you may simply distract them by ringing a small bell.”

Doug Vreeland, Mechanic

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“A wedding between equals has the perfect likelihood to succeed.”

Eric Deming, Supply Driver

Eric Deming, Supply Driver

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“They’re simpler to steal cash from.”

Howard Sahlman, Constructing Inspector

Howard Sahlman, Constructing Inspector

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“Though IQ is an arbitrary rubric, it’s good to have a quantity to throw of their faces after they disagree with you.”

Kyle Hotchkiss, Musician

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“I favor a cool, low-maintenance girl who’s comfortable simply being locked in a barn with some lettuce after intercourse.”

Jon Robinson, Psychologist

Jon Robinson, Psychologist

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“There’s nothing extra endearing to me in a associate than somebody who repeatedly steps on rakes that pop up and hit them in face.”

Brandon Kirk, Contractor

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“What can I say? I need dumb youngsters.”

Randy Mireaux, Veterinarian

Randy Mireaux, Veterinarian

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“My final intercourse doll received actually boastful and bitchy after it acquired its grasp’s, so I’m not coping with that once more.”

Tristan Morrow, Physician

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“I refuse to budge from my perception that Chester A. Arthur is the present U.S. president, and I received’t let anybody inform me in any other case.”

Eric Landry, Elements Specialist

Eric Landry, Elements Specialist

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“It seems like eugenics, so I’m on board.”

You’ve Made It This Far…

You’ve Made It This Far…

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