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Prime 40 Humorous Journey Quotes




Humorous journey quotes about trains, planes, cars, and the locations they take us. Humorous quotations that may make your subsequent journey an actual journey.

Hyperlinks to extra humorous stuff like this at backside of web page.
Share your individual jokes or suggestions within the Remark field.


Funny Travel Quotes: dog and suitcase image with quote: "Wherever you go, there you are. But this is not necessarily true for your luggage."


Humorous Quotations:
Journey, Group 1

The one option to clarify how some folks gown for the airport is that they suppose nobody else will likely be there.
– Andy Borowitz

In America there are two lessons of journey – firstclass, and with kids.
– Robert Benchley

I believe that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has an actual airport close by that solely locals find out about.
– Dave Barry

Orville Wright stated to his brother, “Wilbur, you have been solely within the air for 12 seconds. How might my baggage be in Cleveland?”
– Purple Buttons

If you are going to America, convey your individual meals.
– Fran Lebowitz

Vehicles will quickly have the Web on the dashboard. I fear that it will distract me from my texting.
– Andy Borowitz

Humorous Journey Quotes
Group 2

Spain journey tip: If toilet genders are indicated by flamingos, the
boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I realized this the onerous method.

– Dave Barry

You may knock anybody down in Spain after which simply fake there are a bunch of bulls chasing you.
– Man Endore-Kaiser ‏@GuyEndoreKaiser

Las Vegas is form of how God would do it if he had cash.
– Steve Wynn

Once you depart New York, you might be astonished at how clear the remainder of the world is.
– Fran Lebowitz

Any time three New Yorkers get right into a cab with out an argument, a financial institution has simply been robbed.
– Phyllis Diller

If all of the vehicles in america have been positioned finish to finish, it might in all probability be Labor Day Weekend.
– Doug Larson

Individuals drink on cruises in order that they suppose the swaying is regular.
– Melanie White

Picture of W.C. Fields with quote: "I once spent a year in Philadelphia. I think it was on a Sunday."


Humorous Journey Quotes:
Group 3

You already know you are in India once you hear your self telling your
driver as he’s backing up, “Cautious, there’s a cow behind you.”

– Lydia Ramsey

When it is three o’clock in New York, it is nonetheless 1938 in London.
– Bette Midler

The Spanish authorities, having run utterly out of cash, secretly
offered the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France solely by
visitors cones.

– Dave Barry

Boy, these French. They’ve a unique phrase for every part!
– Steve Martin

Just lately I discovered myself arguing with a British buddy of mine over which tastes higher: English cooking or grime.
– Bruce Cameron

Be suggested that there isn’t a parking in Europe.
– Dave Barry

Bear in mind: Wherever you go, there you might be. Though this isn’t essentially true on your baggage.
– Greg Tamblyn

Humorous Journey Quotes
Group 4

San Francisco leads the world within the class of Most Individuals On The
Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.

– Dave Barry

In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.
– Will Durst

Los Angeles is the place you go once you wish to be any individual.
New York is the place you go when you’re any individual.
Miami is the place you go once you wish to be any individual else.
– Billy Corben

Nebraska is like Siberia with 7-11’s.
– Unknown Creator

Kansas is a bit of actual property that utterly disproves the speculation of roundness as a high quality of the planet earth.
– Bruce Cameron

August in Kansas Metropolis is hotter than two rats f*%king in a sock.
– Ichiro Suzuki

Travel humor about the difference bewteen Heaven and Hell in Europe.


Humorous Journey Quotes
Group 5


There’s nothing fairly like a flight to LaGuardia. Besides perhaps the final chopper out of Saigon.
Dave Barry

I find it irresistible when the flight attendant says, “Your seat cushion turns into a flotation gadget.” Properly why doesn’t the airplane simply turn out to be a ship?
– Steve Shaffer

There are solely two causes to take a seat within the again row of an airplane:
Both you have got diarrhea, otherwise you’re anxious to satisfy individuals who do.

– Wealthy Jeni

On the finish of my Southwest Airways flight, the attendant introduced,
“Ensure and verify round your seat. Do not depart behind any private
issues.” However I’d already spilled all my angst.

– Greg Tamblyn

Denver Worldwide Airport has a management tower that sways within the
wind. The advantage of it’s that it appears completely nonetheless to the
pilots who’ve been ingesting.

– Melanie White

Any time you fly someplace, do not pay your bank card invoice. If the airplane crash lands, these folks won’t ever cease in search of you.
– Kelkulus ‏@kelkulus

U.S. Air is dropping $2 million a day, making it the official airways of the U.S. authorities.
– Melanie White

Humorous Journey Quotes
Group 6

I feel that is how Chicago obtained began. A bunch of individuals in New
York stated, ‘Gee, I am having fun with the crime and the poverty, but it surely simply
is not chilly sufficient. Let’s go west.’

– Richard Jeni

Regardless of what number of instances I go to New York Metropolis, I’m at all times struck by the identical factor – a yellow taxicab.
– Scott Adams

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
– Fran Lebowitz

The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not speaking with the inventor of baggage wheels.
– foodandwhining ‏@foodandwhining

Greyhound Bus Strains motto: “We Cease For Some Rattling Factor Each 200 Yards.”
– Dave Barry

A cruise ship is a floating city of lazy folks.
– Garrison Keillor

Picture of a hotel called "Hotel Bled" with caption: "Who stays here? Vampires?"


Humorous Journey Quotes
Group 7

Wherever we have travelled on this nice land of ours, we have discovered that individuals all over the place are about 90% water.
– David Letterman

Generally the street much less traveled is much less traveled for a cause.
– Jerry Seinfeld

While touring by means of the Andes Mountains, we misplaced our corkscrew. Needed to reside on meals and water for a number of days!
– W.C. Fields

It is simpler to discover a touring companion than to eliminate one.
– Artwork Buchwald

It’s unimaginable to journey quicker than gentle, and definitely not fascinating, as one’s hat retains blowing off.
– Woody Allen

I sit up for the invention of faster-than-light journey. What
I am not trying ahead to is the lengthy wait in the dead of night as soon as I arrive
at my vacation spot.

– Mark Beland

Gosh that takes me again … or ahead. That is the difficulty with time journey, you by no means can inform.
– Dr. Who

Humorous Journey Sayings
Group 8

Pricey Lodge Individuals: We do not want a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thanks.
– Dave Barry

I stayed in a very outdated lodge final evening. They despatched me a wake-up letter.
– Steven Wright

In flying, the likelihood of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.
– Neil Armstrong

By no means belief something you learn in a journey article.
– Dave Barry

How is it that the primary piece of baggage on the airport carousel by no means belongs to anybody?
– George Roberts

I have never been all over the place, but it surely’s on my listing.
– Susan Sontag








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