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Sunday, July 21, 2024

Restrictions to the Workplace’s Communal Robert’s Bike

Pricey staff,

A fast reminder that the workplace kitchen is a shared house. Please bear in mind to select up your belongings left on the counter or within the fridge.

This courtesy applies to different communal areas, listed beneath to your reference:


  • Kitchen
  • Convention Room
  • Cellphone Sales space
  • Robert’s motorbike
  • Bogs

Not Communal

Robert’s motorbike is just not a communal house. It’s an expertise.

Pricey all,

I’ve obtained some issues about private objects being improperly used. Let me make clear, Robert’s motorbike is just for staff whose dad and mom by no means allowed them to have one or whose partner forbade it.

These trying to reserve 15-minute blocks ought to attain out to me for a kind.

(Observe: The following three weeks are utterly booked out by me, I like to recommend reserving no less than a month prematurely.)

These asking how it may be each communal and Robert’s, I say all of us comprise multitudes. Concurrently shared and spoken for, particular person and united. It’s overwhelming to assume how every particular person’s life is as advanced and nuanced as your individual.

That nervousness melts away whenever you’re ripping 80 on open street.

Apologies to Robert C. who believed his Ducati was being taken for pleasure rides. Your hog doesn’t have the torque crucial for ample thrills. We had been referring to Robert H.

Robert’s motorbike is for under essentially the most seasoned. Please don’t straddle the beast except you have got expertise wielding crotch rockets of NASA caliber.

In case you’re keen on studying to trip, I can be educating a 36-week, six-hour introductory course on Saturdays whereas Robert is out of city. With out certification, you can be presumed ineligible.

Pricey snitches,

To whoever felt HR needs to be knowledgeable, disgrace on you. Our focus needs to be on maximizing worth and selling teamwork, not infighting. Robert H. is a main instance, creating worth by way of each his devoted work ethic and a chopper that rumbles my perineum so intensely it’s unlocked wishes I’m scared to confront.

To these asking when efficiency opinions can be accomplished, I’ll get to them. I must clear my head with some contemporary air.


When you’ve got moved the keys, please change them in Robert’s drawer instantly. They’re not in his backpack or residence.


Disregard. Left them within the ignition.


I used to be actually hoping to keep away from a tragedy of the communals, however on account of repeated checkouts by a fingerful of people, I’m left with no selection however to carry on to the keys till additional discover.

Robert H. (cc’d), I hope you perceive. Glad to drive you house, I introduced an additional helmet.

Hello all,

Please signal the connected joint assertion expressing our mutual enjoyment of the motorbike. I can be passing it alongside to authorized to alleviate Robert’s frustration and acknowledge its collective good.

Engaged on efficiency opinions proper now, by the best way…


Pricey all,

Earlier than my electronic mail is deactivated, I wish to say how tousled this world has turn out to be. Keep in mind once we had been youngsters, sharing was what? Caring. Not “a gross misuse of staff’ private property” no matter which means.

If you wish to attain me after my departure, hold a thumb out on my stretch of I-82. Look ahead to the blur and monstrous roar of energy.

That’s me, blowing proper previous you. Eat my mud.



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