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Sunday, July 14, 2024

THE 14th ANNUAL JAMES GARFIELD MIRACLE – giving out presents to children in want on behalf of a ridiculous taxidermy boar. – The Bloggess


Howdy and welcome to the FOURTEENTH ANNUAL James Garfield Miracle! WHAT?!

“What’s the James Garfield Miracle?” you ask.

You should be new right here. WELCOME.

So! 14 years in the past I walked into an property sale and fell in love with an historic taxidermied boars head that appeared so rattling blissful to see me.

I didn’t purchase him and spent every week in mild mourning. Then the subsequent week A MIRACLE HAPPENED and James Garfield got here into my life eternally. (I’m gazing him proper now, in truth and he’s nonetheless magnificent.)

However Victor wasn’t fully thrilled that we’d spent $90 on a literal Christmas miracle of mangey fur and lacking enamel so I made a decision that I’d make vacation playing cards of James Garfield to make up for it and if I bought a pair dozen it’d be like James Garfield was making us cash.

However then everybody went loopy and James Garfield made extra that week than I did in my precise job and so I made a decision that I’d take all the cash James Garfield made and use it to provide presents to the youngsters of people that had been struggling that yr as a result of I’ve been there previously myself. And I purchased presents for the primary 30 one thing individuals after which I ran out of cash however then immediately everybody within the feedback had been like, “I WANT TO HELP A STRANGER IN NEED! LET ME BUY A GIFT FOR SOMEONE” and that’s how this immediately grew to become 14th years of a wierd neighborhood undertaking of strangers serving to strangers anonymously and it’s fairly rattling superb.

Through the years we’ve had many various iterations of the James Garfield Miracle and the one actual draw back is that occassionally a scammer would slip in and ask for stuff for themselves, so we determined to return to the fundamentals and simply give out teddy bears. Why? As a result of everybody loves teddy bears (hell, I like teddy bears) and if somebody goes to go to the difficulty to make a complete wishlist account for a teddy bear they undoubtedly want one.

So this yr I’m sending out 150+ teddy bears to children proper right here.

That’s it. Simply candy, snuggly teddy bears. Effectively, not simply teddy bears as a result of the teddy bears have eyes that infants can swallow (cease swallowing eyes, bizarre infants) so I’m additionally including just a few different stuffed animals you may select from in case you have an eye-devouring child or your baby has a bear phobia or Amazon sells out of teddy bears.

However that’s it. Easy. Simple. Not good as a result of in an ideal world everybody would get every part they want, however I’d wish to think about that even individuals who could also be dissatisfied that we’re simply doing stuffed animals will at the very least be blissful imagining all the youngsters discovering surprising fluffy new stuffed animals of their arms this vacation. It makes me smile, at the very least.

So, if you’re struggling this yr and also you need assistance getting your baby a gift for Christmas/ (late) Hanukkah/winter solstice/whateveryoucelebrate then I’m able to Santa Claus it up and drop one pretty plushie at your step. And I’ll stroll you thru learn how to get one anonymously.

Listed here are the hyperlinks for the plushes you may decide from. Select the one which finest works in your child:

Child Gund 12 inch Stuffed Fox

10 inch stuffed dino

Gund grey kitty

Stuffed Penguin

Gund pandacorn (This was the llamacorn however I believe we purchased all of their inventory accessible so I’m altering it at the moment -Tuesday- to the pandacorn that may are available in earlier than xmas.)

Weighted, sleeping teddy bear

12 inch Matcha Latte Squishmallow

Stuffed lobster (Hailey assures me that children love lobsters?)

15.7 inch Puffer Fish ?? (Pay attention. Hailey picked this one and it seems to be ridiculous, however apparently it’s the great form of ridiculous? Shit. I don’t know the way children work, y’all.)

At the moment these are all between $12-$20 every however Amazon may be wonky about altering up the costs when issues begin to run low so if I see that taking place I’ll come again right here so as to add different selections to select from to switch any that promote out or immediately skyrocket in value from $20 to $180. (Wtf, Amazon?) If I haven’t purchased you a stuffy it’s in all probability as a result of they bought out, jacked up the worth, otherwise you forgot so as to add your deal with so simply come again and take a look at once more.

(Additionally, I take advantage of a number of the earnings I make on advertisements and stuff to purchase toys for teenagers, and all the royalties from the 2024 Bloggess Calendar go to this as nicely, in order that implies that should you’ve even clicked on a hyperlink this yr or purchased an advert then you’re the motive why I’m going to have the ability to purchase toys for at the very least 150 children this yr.  That’s superb and I’m so grateful.  Thanks!)

The wishlists must be posted within the feedback so (as at all times) if you wish to purchase a gift for a stranger you completely can.  Or you may donate to Mission Night time Night time, an superb group that gives a tote bag, e-book, stuffed animal and safety blanket to displaced children all year long.  They’re FANTASTIC they usually have extra requests than they’ll fill so I can not advocate them sufficient. In truth, this afternoon I donated $500 to them in your title. Joyful holidays!

SO…if you’d like in on this it’s important to learn all of the instructions and persist with the principles or in any other case you may be set on hearth and pushed out a shifting aircraft.  Or perhaps I’ll simply delete your remark and have a look at you with that dissatisfied look your mother provides you when she is aware of you’re making an attempt however are nonetheless fucking up.  A kind of.  Listed here are the principles:

IF YOU WANT TO GIVE:

Okay, how do I do that?

You might be my particular angel.  Simply look within the feedback and discover somebody who has an unfilled Wishlist. I’m going to fill least 150 stuffed animal needs however there are at all times greater than I can deal with.  (If there’s nothing on their record once you click on it it means their toy was already bought- yay!)  Purchase their current and be certain that once you take a look at that you choose their delivery deal with as an alternative of defaulting to yours.  (It received’t offer you their full deal with nevertheless it’ll inform you the city you’re delivery it to so you may evaluate it to their remark to be sure to have the suitable individual.)  In the event you attempt to fill a wishlist nevertheless it doesn’t offer you a delivery deal with to decide on which means the individual didn’t assign a delivery deal with to their record so delete their current out of your cart and go on to the subsequent wishlist.  If it says “these are duplicates.  Another person could have already purchased this” once you attempt to take a look at then another person has already purchased that stuff so delete it and take a look at one other one. I’ll replace the feedback as I can to notice which of them have been crammed however it could actually get a bit backlogged after I’m within the automotive or sleeping. 🙂 Please don’t fill any wishlists that don’t say town the individual lives within the feedback, or any wishlists the place the individual doesn’t persist with the principles, please. (That is a method we ensure that persons are who they are saying they’re whereas nonetheless giving them anonymity.)

However what if I don’t stay in America?

Verify the feedback as a result of we regularly have Canadians and others outdoors the US who need assistance and I can’t fill these lists as a result of delivery kills me, so if you wish to undertake a household it is a nice technique to do it.

You might be my particular angel.  Listed here are the issues it’s important to know and should you do them flawed you’ll get deleted so learn rigorously, okay?:   It’s a must to make a BRAND NEW wishlist at the moment, you may solely select one stuffed animal per baby to place in your wishlist, and it must be one of many ones above. I’ll stroll you thru it under. Then simply come to this submit and depart a remark telling us town and State you’re in (this location has to match what you will have in your wishlist), what number of children you will have, and a hyperlink to your wishlist.  Don’t make a number of want lists.  Simply make one.  One of the necessary issues (individuals do that flawed yearly so PLEASE do that half proper) is that you simply have to assign a delivery deal with for this particular model new wishlist.  It doesn’t matter should you’ve achieved it earlier than or assume it’s in your profile. It’s a must to do it for this new wishlist particularly at the moment or it received’t work. I’ll provide the particulars on organising the wishlist under.

What if I wish to make want lists to shock different individuals who I believe need assistance?

Nope.  As a result of then we find yourself sending a number of issues to the identical individuals. However you may completely encourage them to go surfing and make their very own. That is for anybody struggling to get a toy for his or her baby this vacation (and sure, that completely contains teenagers and grownup kids with particular wants).

I’ve by no means achieved this earlier than.  How do I make a wishlist?

It’s fairly fast and simple should you comply with the method.  I’ll stroll you thru step-by-step:

On Amazon, click on on “Accounts & Lists” (on the highest proper) after which on “Create an inventory”on the drop-down.

Title it “James Garfield 2023” then select “create record”. This offers you a clean personal wishlist with nothing on it.

On the suitable you’ll see one thing that claims “…Extra“.  Click on on that and select “Handle record.”  Change “personal” to “PUBLIC” so we will see it. Within the “description” half simply put what number of children your record is for. YOU MUST ADD YOUR ADDRESS FOR THIS SPECIFIC LIST so click on on the drop-down for the delivery deal with and alter it from “none” to your deal with. PLEASE DON’T SKIP THIS PART.  Please ensure that the checkboxes “preserve bought objects in your record” and “don’t spoil my surprises” are NOT chosen.  Now return and double examine every part on this paragraph. Is all of it good? Superior! Click on “Save adjustments”.

Now simply go decide one of many above stuffed lovies in your kiddo.  When you will have the one you need click on on the “Add to record” drop down arrow on the suitable (it’s below the place the worth is) after which choose your “James Garfield 2023” record.  Click on “view your record” to verify it’s added. If every part is correct it is best to have your stuffed animal(s) on the wishlist web page and once you click on on the “…extra” button it ought to say that your wishlist is public and your deal with ought to present up within the “…extra” field and “don’t spoil my surprises” and “preserve bought objects in your record” ought to NOT be checked. (Individuals will see town and state you might be in however your final title and the remainder of your deal with is hidden from everybody else.)

In case you have one other child simply return to the record and decide a gift for them and add it to the identical record.

Copy the hyperlink to your wishlist. Now you go to the feedback under and depart a remark saying what number of children you will have, what metropolis and state you might be in, and a paste within the hyperlink to your wishlist.  That’s it!

So for instance, I’d say, “Hello.  I stay in San Antonio Texas, and I’ve one child who would love a stuffed lamb. Right here’s my record: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2M53431MTM6DN?ref_=wl_dp_view_your_list Thanks!”

Now…to buy groceries.  Joyful James Garfield Day!

PS.  Please please please double examine earlier than you hit the submit button that you’ve got assigned a delivery deal with to your wishlist, that it’s “public” and that your remark has a hyperlink to your wishlist, town and state you reside it and the variety of children you will have. Love!

PPS. That is one in every of my favourite issues to do annually nevertheless it isn’t good. Yearly some packing containers go lacking. Some get delivered after Christmas. Miscommunications occur. However I’d moderately attempt to do one thing small and fantastic even when it isn’t good. Thanks to each single one who asks for assist, to each single individual to who helps and particularly to those that have achieved each. Yearly we’ve individuals who’ve been helped earlier than who’re so blissful to assist this yr, or individuals who’ve helped earlier than however now need assistance themselves. I do know what it feels wish to be in each of these locations and I’m wishing love and light-weight to each single one who reads this.

PPPS. Once you select one thing in your wishlist be certain that it nonetheless says “delivers earlier than xmas” as a result of a few of the issues could promote out and never restock in time. 🙂 As of the time I’m penning this all of the stuffed animals arrive earlier than xmas but when they begin to promote out and must restock it would trigger your stuff to come back in later.

PPPPS. In the event you’re having an issue leaving a remark you may go to my James Garfield instagram submit and let me know and I can attempt to assist.

Joyful holidays, y’all!



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