Donald Trump lately argued that presidents ought to obtain “whole immunity” from prosecution even when they commit crimes. The Onion requested People to clarify why presidents ought to have immunity, and that is what they mentioned.
Silvia Dobbins, Surgeon
“Perhaps if the place got here with immunity, extra folks would need to be president, and we’d lastly have some extra viable choices.”
Samuel Miller, Police Officer
“As somebody who advantages from immunity from the regulation, I’ve to say it’s incredible.”
Richard Jeffries, Monetary Supervisor
“As a result of my identify is in lots of little black books that I’d hate to see go public over the course of a trial.”
Neomi Rao, D.C. Circuit Courtroom Decide
“Makes my job rather a lot simpler.”
Morgan Thompson, Environmental Activist
“As a result of the president is not only a person, however a robust otherworldly being cast in a realm of freedom and justice to look at over us. Who’re we, mere mortals, to try to query such a spirit’s actions?”
Patrick Grant, Undertaker
“The physique is its personal jail.”
Donald Trump, Former President
“Oh, I broke the regulation rather a lot—like, rather a lot rather a lot—and I want to get away with it scot-free.”
Logan Martinez, Ethics Researcher
“I hope in my lifetime to see the primary president to commit beastiality in workplace. And I don’t need him to go to jail.”
Riley Johnson, Digital Content material Creator
“If the president can’t get away with outlandish acts of corruption and self-dealing, then what hope do the remainder of us have?”
Jimmy Carter, Retired
“I’ve achieved lots of issues in my 99 years on this planet, however I’ve by no means strangled a person with my naked palms.”
Mother
“As a result of I mentioned so, that’s why!”
Stan Bell, Optometrist
“I feel it’s merciless and strange punishment to lock up the aged.”
James Fischer, Laptop Programs Analyst
“Trump’s folks known as me and provided me $600,000 if I might say I supported it on this slideshow.”
Cal Gibbert, Chef
“Our prisons are overcrowded sufficient as it’s.”
Jordan Lee, Sustainable Vogue Designer
“As somebody who hates Democrats however loves Republicans, I simply can’t see any scenario the place giving a liberal president limitless authorized immunity may prove badly.”
Lucía Nuñez, Kindergartner
“As a result of after I develop up, I’m going to be a despotic autocrat!”
Casey Brown, Media Strategist
“The legal guidelines of man haven’t any which means. Ethics is void. The universe is a chilly and empty place, and our supposed legal guidelines are an try to patch over that elementary actuality. It’s come time to come clean with that.”
Ben Handler, Therapist
“All of the courtroom drawings would possibly give him physique dysmorphia.”
Larry Ellison, Oracle Co-Founder
“Presidents needs to be handled no in another way than the remainder of us billionaires.”
Emerlynn Stile, Scholar
“It could make the presidents of all the opposite nations tremendous jealous.”
Jaime Barnard, Advertising and marketing Government
“American? I’m a British bloke! However downright satisfied I handed for a Yank.”
Raghavi Shankar, Actual Property Agent
“I used to suppose no person was above the regulation, however then my therapist taught me the hazard of pondering in absolutes.”
